TOWER OF DOOM (S01/E10)

A DARK TOWER SOMEWHERE IN TRANSYLVANIA WITH GOTH GIRLS, VAMPIRE GIRLS, HEAVY METAL CHICKS, BIKER BABES AND KELLY BUNDY IMPERSONATORS

ROJA

Meet Roja, the Heavy Metal Queen hailing from the land of leprechauns and loud guitars – Belfast, Northern Ireland. Don't be fooled by her love for Heavy Metal; she's got a heart as dark as a Slayer guitar riff and a sense of humor sharper than Metallica's lyrics.

Roja's day job involves managing a graveyard shift at the local cemetery, where she personally handpicks the spookiest tombstones to complement her black leather wardrobe. Rumor has it that she once turned down a job offer from the devil himself because she thought hell was too mainstream.

Her love for Heavy Metal is unmatched. She can headbang with the best of them, and her air guitar skills are so legendary that even Eddie Van Halen would give her a nod of approval from the afterlife. But there's one thing that grinds her gears – Nickelback. According to Roja, telling them apart from the Backstreet Boys is like trying to find Waldo in a sea of black leather jackets.

In her spare time, Roja enjoys scaring the neighborhood kids by blasting Slayer at full volume from her skull-shaped speakers. She claims it's her way of giving back to the community and keeping the spirit of Heavy Metal alive.

Roja's fashion sense is a mix of gothic elegance and heavy metal rebellion. She can often be seen donning a leather jacket adorned with patches from every heavy metal band imaginable, as well as a pair of boots so sturdy that they could probably survive a mosh pit at a Cannibal Corpse concert.

Despite her ironically evil persona, Roja has a soft spot for animals – especially black cats. She insists that they are her spirit animals and believes that they bring her good luck in the form of killer guitar solos and perfectly timed thunderstorms.

So, if you happen to spot Roja on the streets of Belfast, beware – she might charm you with a wicked smile and then blast Slayer so loud that your eardrums will beg for mercy. But hey, that's just the way the Heavy Metal Queen rolls in her world of musical mayhem and graveyard humor.

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